Major League Dating

THE DATING GAME

Oh yeah.  Most of us have ventured into this world.  Where we completely lose ourselves in this social enigma of  wishful thinking, ridiculous expectations, and very awkward, uncomfortable situations.  The pressure really begins when it seems like all of your friends are getting married, or they have a significant other.  You find yourself in this 'third wheel' situations more times then not.  You begin to constantly compare your life to couples, or maybe to the erroneous images Hollywood love stories and 'happily ever afters' etched into your brain.  You may even find yourself to the point where you're snuggled up with a pillow in the fetal position, tears rolling down your cheek wondering "WHY, GOD, WHY!?!?!?"

If this Dating Game were an Olympic Sport, I'd probably be a Gold Medalist.  Maybe in the special Olympics, but gosh darn it I'd be confidently professional even in a retarded kind of way.  I've reached a point in which I can usually see right through the other person.  I'm like a mind reader.  You can only go on so many dates before they all become transparent.  In fact, most people who 'date' can probably sit in a pub and separate the 'players' from the spectators.  It's not difficult.  Seeing that the dating game is comprised of two leagues, the Major Leagues and the Minor Leagues.

MAJOR LEAGUE DATING

"Social Scenes, like bars and such"

Honestly, I don't believe I've EVER been in a bar or a nightclub without this cliche feeling of everyone having the intention of finding someone.  Go to a nightclub, I guarantee that you'll see more people with 'finding someone' on their minds then just the idea of relaxing and 'having fun' with no intentions.  The contrasts of the two, if you pay close enough attention, is ridiculously obvious.  The former have hopes that someone will 'like' them enough to show them some attention.  At least that's what most singles would ideally like to have.  Nothing wrong with wanting attention.  It's human design to want to be with someone.  However, if you're looking for love it's not very often you find it at a bar or a nightclub.  The latter is REALLY relaxed.  They smile the entire time, and their eyes don't wander.  They're just enjoying the moment.

To the Men: the majority of single women that go to bars want one of two things.  Attention and free drinks.  It's safe to say that 90% of them have NO intention of going home with you the first night they meet you.  So deal with it.  Besides, any woman that will go home with a guy the first night she meets him is probably not worth it.

Women:  Hate to break it to you, but not every guy at a bar that talks to you wants to take you home.  So you don't have to constantly worry.  I laugh when a woman drops the B/F bomb in mid-conversation.  Full of yourself much?  Honestly, there's this HUGE erroneous stereotype that most men go to bars to take a girl home.  Maybe in college that type of thing is more common, but if you're 25 or older, get over yourselves.  If you catch me in a pub I'm probably looking at the sports highlights on the big screen, goofing off with friends, or joking around with the bartender.   Not every man wants to see you naked.  Deal with it.  Besides, any man that is willing to take you home and objectify you the first night he meets you isn't exactly Prince Charming.  However, if you're into that kind of thing.....birds of a feather flock together, among other things.  So if you usually find yourself going home with someone the first night you meet them, I won't judge. Just make sure you see the doctor on a regular basis.

  Like most sports, there is a strategic element in play.  Men looking to meet a nice girl in any social situation WILL NEVER walk into the game without a wingman.  This is a team sport, people.  Rely on your friends for good judgement.  Especially if alcohol is in play.  Women are a little bit more tricky.  They don't usually use their friends as a reference to their behavior, or taste in guys. They'll use them to look good.  It's pretty often noticed that a female player will walk into a social setting with a less attractive, or fatter, friend.  Start paying attention, I promise you'll see it.  For some reason, it's usually sports bars.  Go to one, find a table with two girls.  One skinny, one fat.  It happens all the time.

  Like most athletes in most sports, there is a routine.  For instance, Ryan Braun steps up to the plate.  He will fix his glove, fix his sleeve, then his helmet right before every swing.  (Helmet?  At least he used one form of protection in his activities. Bahahaha....too soon.)  With dating, there's a routine.  The female walks in (usually in front of said ugly friend), avoids eye contact with every male yet takes notes, not of what they look like.  They have other priorities besides physical attractiveness.  Such as the clothes they wear, and the drink they have in their hands.  Why?  Money.  Women love guys that spend money.  Guys that spend large amounts of money on themselves are bound to be stupid enough to spend money on the girls.  No lie.  The 'at bat' routine for guys will usually make an obvious scope around the room.  Possibly pointing out every single cute girl he can see, taking a mental note.  If one makes eye contact with him, which she probably won't, he's going to do the chin flip.  Oh yes.  The chin flip.  So full of "what's up? I'm full of crap" that it makes a port-a-potty on the fourth of July look clean.

MINOR LEAGUES

On-Line Dating

Okay, I have friends who are into online dating, and I was for a short time as well.  Just because I call it MINOR LEAGUE does not take away the value of the sport.  I love internet dating.  I have friends getting married soon that met on Christianmingle.com  I've also met wonderful friends this way!  The reason we call it  'minor league' is because it's the route that the less experienced daters take.  This is the only sport in the world you CAN play in both the minor league, AND the major league.  That makes you an MVP.  Whether it's someone's first year in college, or maybe someone that just went through a divorce or got out of a really bad relationship, it's a comfortable alternative to put yourself out there.  In internet dating, you have complete control of how you perceive yourself.  No wonder it's such a growing fad!

 I've discovered something about online dating that is rather disappointing from a male perspective.  Most women dating online have no intention of meeting someone.  In fact it's safe to say that 90% of the female profiles on internet dating websites have this quote, "I'm just doing this out of curiosity" which mean "Online dating is really creepy to me, so I'll probably never meet you but I'm really just wanting guys to email me and tell me how hot I am."

And the men in online dating.  Most of them are creepers, or they just don't have the confidence to try to properly network their way into a relationship except by the convenient means of button clicking.  Almost EVERY SINGLE PROFILE in online dating is edited over and over again by its owner.  Worried that it might be 'scaring people away'.  Or maybe it was just me.  All in all, I felt just as pressured on the internet as I  do in real life social scenes.  Still requiring me to wear a mask and live up to this erroneous expectation that usually leads to disappointment later on in a serious relationship.

REJECTION AND THE TRUTH IT TELLS

     Rejection can suck.  It makes you feel like you're 'not good enough' for that one person that rejected you.  It's something I dealt with a lot in college, and it really destroyed my confidence until recently.  I received a huge piece of advice that I pay about $60.00 an hour for.  You're getting it for free.   There is one ugly, honest little truth that needs to be realized when it comes to being dubbed as 'not good enough' for that one person.  It's true.  You're not good enough for them.  Regardless not being good enough for someone doesn't mean I'm not 'good enough' for anyone.  Are you REALLY going to let the opinion of someone that barely knows you affect you to the point of depression?  I did at one point.  It's not worth it.  It doesn't take away how valuable you are to those that love you most. Look at it from a ratio.  For every person that's ever rejected you, there are likely 10 people who love you just the way you are.  When it comes to seeking love, or relationship, I follow Billy Shakespeare's advice. I'm true to my own self.  I am who I am and confidence is key!  I don't have to change myself to impress anybody and neither do you!  If you're secure in who you are, then you don't have to walk into a bar hoping a guy hits on you, or a girl will go home with you.  I wrote about this in the previous blog, and I'll write it again.  THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!

All in all, when it comes to dating, and relationships, and 'finding that special someone', take off the mask.  Enjoy the things you have and even greater things will come!  I'm a testament to this!  The Bible even proves it, "Look for heaven first, and everything will fall into place".  Find contentment in the way things are now.  If you aren't happy being single....then you're never going to be happy.  Stop listening to Hollywood love stories, and listen to the reality of your life, that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, AND loved.  Approach the true realization of what it means to 'be yourself'.  To be yourself, you have to love yourself.
  You'll never go wrong.  =)