Holy Smokes! It's been over a month since I've posted! The catalyst that really got me thinking, hence writing, was the moment in which a young married couple walked into Starbucks just a moment ago. Now, when I say young, I'm talking Justin Beiber and Selena Gomez look-a-likes. These kids, both being very well groomed as if they belonged on the cover of a people magazine, couldn't have been much older than 21 or 22..
People that know me know that I enjoy dating. I enjoy the thrill of seeking out the future Mrs. Grant Williams. I've been compared to the real life Ted Mosby on How I Met Your Mother several times. Yes, there is a parallel. Friends and family also know that I am a very outgoing, spontaneous, and a flirtatious individual with a big heart that can usually be found on my sleeve. So....the idea of marriage is obviously something desired in my life especially at this point (but not idolized....trust me. It has importance, but not priority). When I see married young people that got to that point in life way before me, I go straight to 'why not me?' mode. As do many single individuals in their late 20's and early 30's. Now, why the human condition typically causes us to negatively compare ourselves to others and what they have and why we don't have it, I have no idea. Yet, I think deeper into the reason of why we think what we think. Make sense? I really hope so because I'm about to blow your mind with perspective.
So here I am, looking at the couple. Although very celebrity like in appearance and walking out with their Caramel Frappe's, they get an A+ for external presentation. Then I noticed something. They get into an old, beat up Isuzu that looked like it could have been a hand-me-down from a parent. I don't really have any idea who these people are by just seeing them once. In fact, while the young, married man was waiting for his coffee I couldn't help but notice that we had exchanged glances in the middle of his young brides embrace. <----poetic, I know. As he looked at me, and I looked at him, two different thought processes were going on.
This kid could have been thinking. "Look at that guy on his computer. 30 years old, still single, free to do what he wants. Not a care in the world. He has 10 more years of independence that I'll never get."
I'm looking at him thinking, "Wow....that guy found his soul mate so young. Why not me? What's wrong with me!?"
Now, I love the fact that these two were married and they were in love, very much so. Eros love is a love that is erotic. Unpredictable, beautiful, poetically selfish. However, as I mentioned before, the human condition is so apt to leave us feeling like we're the 'victim' in comparison to others. Married men could look at me jealously as I view them. As human beings, we're so quick to want what we can't get, or what we don't have. This can be very self-defeating. Change it up! There's nothing wrong with you. You lack nothing.
Be happy with what you've got! Self modification shouldn't be motivated by being depressed. It should be in response to the desire to being even better than the good that you are now. This is my wish, my prayer to God, don't give me what I want until I become content with what I have!
All in all I do feel content in my singleness. Do I desire a romantic relationship? Of course I do! I'm wired to want someone, to desire love, to want to have someone. We're not designed to be alone. For the people that never want to get married but want to stay single for life, good on them. As for me, I will have a wife some day. And it'll be awesome. Until that happens, life is STILL awesome, and I can't help but smile at that. All in all, be happy with what you've got. Independence, love, God, friends, family, community.
It's all there, embrace it. Your mind has been blown with perspective.
