As long as the title is, it exposes the lie told to too many congregants regarding the Holy Spirit and His convictions. John 16....Check it out.
Young's Literal Version: "But I tell you the Truth; it is better that I go away, for if I don't go away the comforter will not come unto you, and if I go on, I will send Him unto you.
Concerning Sin, because they do not believe in me.
Concerning Righteousness, because unto my Father I go away, and no more do ye behold me
Concerning Judgement, because the ruler of this world hath been judged." (V. 7-11)
I'm going to tell a very personal account of my life as an early Christian. When God told me what I was to become through a very well respected Pastor, I was kneeling in worship. I felt his hands on my back and he whispered in my ear, "Grant, I don't know when or where, but you are going to become a Youth Pastor." Not exactly what I expected at that time, as I was a very 'unpopular' teenager among other teenagers. Yet I was excited. So I began to live it out in an enthusiastic way. Youth Trips, youth meetings, Youth conferences, youth this, youth that....it became something I absolutely loved volunteering toward even to this day. (FACT: Anybody who knows me well also knows I'm a teenager trapped in a 28 year old's body. Youth Ministry fits very well.)
Early in my faith, however, there was this hinderance holding me back from my full potential as a leader of any congregation. During this season of my life I had very little, to no confidence in myself. I wanted to be cool, though. So I would listen to the advice and opinions of anybody and believe in it. This is called NAIVE. So many people in this world are seeking something greater then themselves. They need to be shown the love of a God that will never leave us or forsake us. However, there is always a bad seed in every apple. That seed sucks the life out of enthusiastic, young, fresh Christians as I was in those days. They lie and scheme into the hungry hearts of people looking for answers and validation. Here are a few of the several lies that cursed the very essence of my calling as a Youth Pastor:
"Grant, you need to focus on His will for you life. Not your own."
"Grant, God can't accomplish anything in you as long as you're still living a life of sin."
"Grant, I'm not sure what you're called to do, but you're not going to be a Youth Pastor so stop trying so hard. I hope you trust me that I say this out of love....."
These leaders were throwing false, behavior modifying doctrine that was based on the control and manipulation of my heart, my mind, and my soul. How could I follow Jesus' command to love Him with all of those things when they were being distracted with this life-limiting crap? Legalistic ideologies seem so sweet, so welcoming, but it made me sick to the core for a really long time. If a 'Pastor' is saying something, it must be true....right? Wrong. Through maturity, the Holy Spirit, and a lot of study in prayer, I found that these curses were nothing more then a stronghold in my life. I've put them behind me.
Before I go on any further I have to clear something up. The spirit of this writing might carry a sense of resentment or hurt feelings from all of this. On the contrary, I have fully forgiven those who have doubted me, judged me, or questioned my ability as a leader in any sense of the word. I admit that I use to be bitter and hurt because they are what they are: life limiting curses. Words tear down even if it's in the best of intentions. I use strong words like 'crap' because it's a fun word to use. I have a lot of respect and love for anyone who declares Christ as Lord, and these things said to me weren't meant to tear me down, but build me up. Their intentions were right, so I definitely hold nothing against them. I have something against the religion that binds them from freedom.
I've never imagined myself as alone in this world especially in my search for validation. I can only imagine the millions of other people out there that may have even left the church because they never felt 'good enough' to do what God called them to do. Instead, I'm included in a large group of people that felt as if they were held under a huge microscope of being encouraged to live 'above reproach' (Another verse in the Bible twisted to fit the needs of legalistic parasites.) Haunting images of "God is watching" flash through our minds, and then comes the self-doubt. We can't be leaders because of the 'leaders' that condemn us. I've been convicted by the Polo shirt and kahakis that I won't amount to their leadership skills. I would never be as good, or righteous as them. I've been convicted by legalistic standards, and feeling like I'd never 'add up'. A lot of good Chrisitan men would never say it to my face, or even realize they believed it...but.."You're not good enough" is the same as....You suck. Even the cliche saying, "God isn't saying no, He's saying 'not yet'" builds a sense of control between Church leader, and naive church follower. Let us stand up and refuse to allow church leaders to use scripture to manipulate our behavior, dreams, and goals to serve GOD! It's crap.
Then I grew up, and God gave me a reality. Ready for a little bit of radical truth?
The Holy Spirit does NOT convict believers of sin or our inabilities to SERVE HIM, and He definitely doesn't think we suck. John 16, when Jesus describes the conviction of the comforter, He breaks it down into three ways. Non-Believers, Believers, and judgement. Non-believers will be convicted of their disbelief. Believers will be convicted of the righteousness inside of them for the Holy Spirit is in us, and the the Spirit will convict us of judgement, as Jesus was judged first. Did you hear that? We, as believers, are convicted of righteousness. It's not about about you can or can't do. It's about who you are.
As a true believer you died with Christ. The old is gone, the new has come, and the Spirit of Christ literally lives inside of you. To tell you that you aren't 'good enough' is telling Christ He isn't good enough to work through you. I've allowed leaders whom I trusted wholeheartedly to slow me down. I've allowed my heart to fall for the hyprocrisy of congretional leaders to erroneously define what leadership should look like rather than what it really is. Now I know the truth of God's righteousness in me. He's a lion and I'm ready to unlock the cage and set Him free. In love and service wherever I'm needed. I'm ready to not only lead, but to allow Christ to lead through me. Not by the convictions of the people who think I'm 'not good enough' but by the conviction of God's character engrained into my being. His character builds me up to want to lead, serve, and love more. Not 'try' to sin less. If obedience is 'tried' then we are making it about ourselves, not Him in us. THAT is radical belief.
So go out, make disciples. Love others, serve Him. You don't need an ordination from the State of wherever to be a Pastor. You don't need a degree from such and such Christian college to hold credibility. You are baptised in the Holy Spirit, THAT is your credibility. If you're called to Pastor, then go out and Pastor. In conclusion, if someone responds to my calling with: "Um, I think you need to work on yourself..."
I tell them this:
"Jacob cheated, Peter had a temper, Noah got drunk, Jonah ran from God, Paul committed murder, Gideon was insecure, Miriam gossiped, Martha worried, Thomas doubted, Sara was impatient, Elijah was moody, Moses stuttered, Zachhaeus was short, Abraham was old, and Lazarus was dead. God doesn't choose the qualified, He qualifies the chosen."
NOBODY can tell you that you can't. Because we can do anything in Christ who strengthens us. THAT is Great News.
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